Posts tagged: funny
That’s right. Miss Brooke Candy is back and she is WORTH IT. This crazy ass bitch is sporting baby chameleons, and neon braids to serve you some real shit. As she says in the song, “arab dude singin in da back” is the main beat for this track. With insane lyrics that will make you wanna listen again just to make sure she actually went there, miss Candy makes me smile with every super crazy line.
“While your trying on your Louboutins, IM GROOVIN ON YOUR MANS COCK”
That doesnt even fucking rhyme, and I’m like
Brooke Candy is allegedly set to have a new album come out this year. Let us pray for the basic bitches.
Welcome the new goddess.
Elementary School: Everything is cool
Middle School: Everything that was cool, isnt…
High School: Only Cool People are Cool
College: Everything that wasn’t cool becomes cool again.
Like Money (feat Akon)
Like the fat beats from Gangnam Style? DUH
Wish you had more K-Pop in your life, but don’t know where to start? YES YES. TELL ME MOAR
Do you enjoy fierce Asian girl robots in heels that know how to break it down to awesome beats, and sing in English despite being Korean?!?! ODDLY SPECIFIC BUT YES, THAT SOUNDS LOVELY.
*By special request* I bring you, Wonder Girls’ and Akon produced/ featured “Like Money”. The video starts off with a Natalia Kills-esque videography style of glitchy fast paced images with a robo woman telling us that the future of Real Dolls are here.
THE LIFE LIKENESS.
The track starts off with a stabby key synth, followed by a sooth bass and drum. A pretty generic, yet effect beat. K-Pop artists are pretty reliable when it comes to dope beats for their tracks. They generally make me happy.
The first verse and chorus features the girls, and the second verse features Akon’s vocals, giving the track instant US credibility with Akon’s highly recognizable voice. The chorus is kind of cute.
Love me like money
Love me like cars
Love me babe love me from where ever you are
Its cute but in like a materialistic bitch way. If someone said that to me Id be like
Either way it is a catchy track, and you can feel so cultured when you talk to your friends about how you listen to “foreign” music. Think to yourself: Haha i AM better than you.
Okay guys, this is my opinion of the top of albums of 2012. Now if we are gonna be technical we have 2 mix tapes, and 2 EP’s on here. However, I based this list off the number of total songs I am obsessed with of the total piece of work. Some of the albums will have links to full album reviews I’ve done earlier this year.
10. Azealia Banks: Fantasea
Breakthrough female rapper of the year, Azealia Banks released this mix tape to ruin you cunts. Following very shortly after the release of her EP 1991, this mix tape snatched weaves and ruined the insides of women’s bodies across the world. Songs like “Nathan” and “Atlantis” are snappy fast synth infused rap tracks that can be compared to the greats of female rap history.
9. Marina & The Diamonds: Electra Heart
Resident adorable boy hater of the year, Marina & The Diamonds provided fun indie pop to the angsty gays of America. Songs like “How To Be A Heart Breaker” and “Power and Control” give you opposite sides of the relationship spectrum, whereas songs like “Primadonna” empower you to not give a fuck, because you are a bad bitch. She has a lot to offer for this album, and she has gorgeous almost operatic vocals. She is a total package.
8. Ke$ha: Warrior
The newest album on my list, Ke$ha’s Warrior saved my dying hopes for female pop stars for the end of 2012. Riri and Xtina were huge let downs for me. (Sorry Yall).
From her typical talk-sing fast paced dance tracks like “Warrior” and “Supernatural”, to a surprising and insanely satisfying addition of rock-infused songs like “Dirty Love” and “Gold Trans Am”, the album is just….the tits. The tits is the only word for it. In terms of slower tracks she managed to have me like them at first listen, which is personally hard for me. With slow and pretty verses, they lead up to powerful vocals for Ke$ha in the choruses. Songs like “Love In The Light” is a perfect example of this.
7. Step Up Revolution Soundtrack
Now I know you may be thinking wtf right now. This album though really took me by surprise. If you haven’t listened to this or seen the movie, I highly recommend it. With fresh remixes of already dope songs like Skylar Grey’s “Dance Without You” and Travis Barker’s “Let’s Go”, the album introduces dubstep into the never ending hip hop Step Up movies. On top of that, original tracks from My Name Is Kay, and FUCKING. FERGIE. I don’t know what prompted the return of Fergie into music for just this song, but I AM NOT MAD. Fergie has a special place in my gay little heart. Maybe it’s because we share common interests…
6. Wallpaper: #STUPIDFACEDD- EP
This EP took me by great surprise. I heard “#STUPIDFACEDD” on youtube and I was like
That was about it. Then I heard “Fucking Best Song Everrr” in the club and I was like
I had to find out more. I found that Wallpaper. was not only funny, but also a eerily similar to 3OH!3. Catchy raps, with fat electro beats mixed for a happy combo for my life. All about partying, and being a bro. All that fun shit.
6. In This Moment: Blood
Ugh. The queen. In This Moment going as hard as ever on their latest album. Songs like “Comanche” and “”You’re Gonna Listen” test the limit of Maria’s screaming ability as she goes all fucking out. My only serious complaint about this album is that it is not longer. All hail the Blood Queen.
This group. I literally CANT. Everything they make is like audible sex to my ears. Their Play Hard EP was no surprise orgasmic. Every time something of theirs comes out I’m like..
With the release of their Play Harder remix EP due out next week, it is just an early Christmas present for me.
3. Nicki Minaj: Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded
Nicki Minaj’s album needs no explanation as to why it is so high on my list. If you have any questions, consult my full review here.
2. Far East Movement: Dirty Bass
This album was probably the most shocking of the year for me. I am not a huge Far East Movement fan. I like a few of their singles, and that was pretty much it. This album is fucking gold. Featuring a different relatively unknown artist on each track, they take you on a journey through house, rap, hip hop, and slow r&b. Pure gold all over this album.
My number 1 album of the year? Yikes! Hyper Crush takes the gold. Every song on this album I think I have spun at the club AT LEAST once. From house, to hip hop, to dubstep, Hyper Crush infuses these genres with male rap vocals, and sexual female vocals. The songs rely on unique beats and fun vocals to make them work. Songs like “Fingers Up” sampling DJ Derb’s “Derb” track, and infectious vocals telling you to put you fingers up, it is hard to not dance.“What Goes Up” retro sounding house beat, and more vocals that are easy to learn, so first time listeners can catch on quickly. The track “The Foundation” is particularly interesting for the group because it is an instrumental. How many vocal groups do you see with instrumental tracks on their album? It’s great. Every time I have dropped a Hyper Crush track..
Pop, House, Electro House, Remix
Jump (Sizzle Remix)
Are you guys ready to learn how good remixes work?
My good friend Sizzle here has taken a few steps into making a good remix.
1. This song is brand fucking new. If DJ’s wanna play it, they will be looking for remixes of it, and usually good ones don’t pop out too soon.
2. This remix incorporates a tempo change. Meaning there is a break with the chorus at the normal tempo of the song, as opposed to the cray balls dance part.
3. Funny sample before dance break. Always a plus in my personal book. Right before the drop I’m like:
4. Crazy dutchy electro break. Always a must in ever growing EDM world.
Jump is one of the few songs on Unapologetic that I like. Sorry RiRi fans, but an album of never ending ballads just doesn’t do it for me. I like a balance. Talk That Talk had a great balance of dance, hip hop, and ballad tracks. Loud had an even better mix, because she still incorporated more of her Caribbean roots. Jump is a crazy dubstep influenced track sampling an older song. Is it good? Yes of course. Is it all original? Meh. Either way, the chorus is catchy, and Mr Sizzle has capitilized on it. My only complaint is that it isnt longer.
Dubstep, Electro, Pop
Come & Get It
Making Herstory, these Shemazing ladies werk my ear drums with their dope beats and sensual vocals PER USUAL. Come & Get It is their feature new song from their up and coming remix EP called Play Harder, due out December 10th. I’m already growing harder from the thought.
This track just reeks ear love. Their formula of the rising tempo in their music really makes me happy. I think what i like about this track is that their isnt a build up. It is just like FUCK YOU
COME AND GET IT
IF YOU WANNA LOSE YOUR MIND.
COME AND GET IT.
explosions. constantly. in my ear.
I’m over here being like, I could totally produce something like this. But sadly…
i am only an eel, among clones of Poseidon
This track is fucking free to download. Pick up on that shit, especially if you have never heard of this group given to us by the EDM goddesses.
Pop, Electro, House
Ready For The Weekend
Ever since I heard their song “I Love It”, I’ve been keeping a close eye on the duo known as Icona Pop. They have a great sound. Mixing dance music with their high shouty vocals, it makes for some great anthem type music in my opinion.
The track starts off with some church like chants of the two saying “grab somebody gooooo and live it upppppp”…at first you are like wtf is going on. I don’t like gospel. I r confused. Then the Skrillex sounding mega high pitched voice comes in to replace it
GRAB SOMEBODY GO LIVE IT UPPPP
GET READY READY READY FOR THE WEEKEND.
Here is a visual representation of what is felt in this transition:
The intense house break comes in soon following the two shouting gleefully over the beat. The song just sounds epic as fuck. To quote their last single...I LOVE IT! I DONT CARE. I LOVE IT!
Watch out for Icona Pop. The blogosphere is paying them some due respect, they very well could blow up. Ill be like
Remember liking Icona Pop is legal on other planets.
Electro House, Pop
Chelsea Korka is back. The ex Paradiso Girl who slayed my life with her last EP titled E.P (which I am convinced stands for ex paradiso) is back again with another EDM banger.
Coming in hard with some vocal sampling until the break and Chelsea comes in with her insane vocals belting out
IS TAKING ME OVER NOWWWWWWWWW
Once that drop comes in. Ho mah lawd.
The horny-synthy beat shuts down hearts basic functions, and snatches them 2 dolla holla wigs right off them basic bitches with their fall back beats. Props to the Mark Rosas man that produced this. Smart to have his name on the single cover. Ill be looking out for him in the future now.
I really am looking forward to a full album from this girl. If she is gonna stick with these EDM bangers, shes good in my book. There needs to be more people leading the charge for it. Remixes don’t have to be the only thing were some insane beats can come in. I’ve already dropped Reaction at the club, and it sounded dope.
I also put her last single “My All” in the guest mix i submitted for the radio this past week. Shyts dope. Keep pumpin out good tunes girl.
Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded (The Re Up)
Oh god it has been ages since I review anything. Oh well, I’m sick in bed so lezz dew it.
Nicki Minaj’s highly uncreatively titled new “album” or as I like to think of it as an EP since its 6 new songs, (not including The Boys) is unsurprisingly epic.
I’m Legit (feat Ciara): I will start with this one since it is my favorite. If you read my last review on Roman Reloaded, you probably know that the crazier Nicki is in a song, generally the more I like it cuz it makes me laugh. Starting with a beat scarily close to Come On a Cone, and a “Snap Backs & Tattoo” sounding moan I was hopeful for a cray balls track….and then Ciara comes in and I’m like
Those twerkin claps. They get me. Nicki then splits her verse between really slow catchy rhymes, to insanely fast lines as the crazy synth comes back in. Most notable slow lines include
I’m like really famous
I got a famous anus.
I hate whack niggas
I should really slap niggas.
ive fallen, and i cant get up.
This track just screams everything I love about a Nicki song. Hilariousness, dope twerktastic chorus with Ciara, aka America Best Dance Cunt, and a fat beat.
Freedom: The serious track. Freedom sports the slow beat with Nicki spitting some actually dope rhymes. The chorus of this track is actually really pretty. For some reason it reminds me of “Fly”.
Cuz its crazy in here, crazy in here….
Up In Flames: This track is very interesting. Starting off with the choir singing the chorus, and then Nicki comes in over the bass every beat. It’s a slower song, but more on the epic side than “Freedom”. Every time the bass comes back I’m like
This is the re up.
Hell Yeah (feat Parker): Now, I’ve never heard of Parker…but he was lucky to get a spot on Nicki’s album. That will get him a lot of publicity. I personally think his voice is kind of strange though.
“SCREAMIN HELLULULULULUL YEARRRRR”
This track is a mid tempo song, with a guitar like background beat. Different sound for Nicki, not my favorite track on the “album” though.
High School (feat Lil Wayne): Lil Wayne makes a shocking appearance. I thought he gave up rap for skateboarding or some bullshit. Oh well. I was expecting more out of this track for some reason. I thought it’d be a bit more crazier. It does have a pretty dope beat though. Lil Wayne just loves throwing in unnecessary lines about eating vagina in every song he is in though. I’m kind of over it Wayne. The beat eventually turns into a Moment For Life- style jewelry box chime beat. The track is alright.
I Endorse These Strippers (feat Tyga & Brinx): Nicki is now releasing public service announcements about causes she is supporting. She is so charitable. Love the beat for this song. Highlight of the song?
Tyga is dope per usual. He has yet to disappoint me. I don’t know who Brinx is either though. Maybe I’m not up on my rap artists. Brinx home suhcurity.
I give this “album” a 7 out of 10.
I’m Legit. Period. Thats it.
Nicki is really getting serious with her rapping on these tracks. Getting back to her roots when it comes to how good she used to be with her rhymes.
Va Va Voom is not new. It shouldnt be on the second CD.
Only 6 tracks. She pumped out so many tracks for PF:RR that the follow seems lacking in comparison.